What?! Your birthday?! Why the f*** didn’t you tell me?!
There are times when I hate Facebook….
I hate Facebook when annoying advertisements interrupt my daily digital visits to friends, friends of friends and friends of friends of friends.
I hate Facebook when it asks me AGAIN to update my phone number: F**K OFF, I don’t want the whole world to call me in the middle of the night….. I AM DRINKING!!!! and I never forget a password!
I hate Facebook when they show horrible images of accidents, killings, war, crying babies and healthy food. I AM NOT IN-TE-RES-TED.
I also hate Facebook when they disable a picture of something horrible, that’s not really horrible at all and I hate Facebook for saving everything I have ever posted….I still have messages from f*cking 2015…..
But most of all….
I HATE Facebook for telling me when it is YOUR BIRTHDAY!
YOU ARE MY FRIEND and I should have remembered your birthday, right?! I am so, so so sorry….I didn’t!
so I hate Facebook for reminding me it’s your birthday, because………
It makes me feel I HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING VERY VERY SPECIAL (because you are my friend, right?!) But….. I just woke up and didn’t have my coffee and when I am finally fully awake and my coffee is finished, I have other stuff on my mind: I have places to GO, people to MEET, work to DO and things to BUY….. IF I write a birthday wish on your timeline, IT SHOULD BE something SPECIAL….because you are my friend and you are special to me, right?!
And thinking of something special to write, takes a lot of time!!!! Time I don’t have…..
I also HATE Facebook for reminding me it’s your birthday, …because….
I feel I have to give you a present, sing you a song, bake you a cake and DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU! But I have no idea what to give you…… I don’t want to embarrass you on your birthday with my horrible singing and I have never baked a cake in my life…..
But most of all I hate Facebook for reminding me it’s your birthday, because…
I just don’t like birthdays. They give me stress, headache and pain in my stomach. Birthdays make me do things I normally don’t do. They make me say things I normally don’t say and they make me end up in places I normally wouldn’t go and most of the time don’t want to be…..
And that’s why I disabled my birthday on Facebook.
I don’t want YOU to feel bad for forgetting MY birthday. I don’t want you to buy a present or bake a cake and I DEFINITELY don’t want you to SING for me! I don’t need you to wish me a happy birthday, because ALL MY DAYS ARE HAPPY and this day will not be any different.
I don’t want you to waist your time, thinking LONG and HARD about writing something SPECIAL. You are my FRIEND: EVERY WORD that comes out of your mouth is special to me.
And honestly…. I also don’t want to waist my own valuable time……
- Reading ‘Happy Birthday” every seven minutes for a whole day long….
- Pressing like-buttons….
- Writing ‘Thank you” 181 times…
I hate Facebook for showing anyone’s birthday….. so I disabled it
DID YOU FORGET MY BIRTHDAY…. that’s GREAT, because it means you are JUST LIKE ME and that’s probably why we ARE (and always will be) GREAT FRIENDS
IF YOU DID REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY….. please note that I am SINCERELY IMPRESSED and very, very grateful you took the time to send me a personal message and have a nice chat.!
Thank you a zillion times……
How to disable your birthday on Facebook?
If you also want to disable your birthday, you may use this tutorial.
F. Y. I.
I was born on 16 June 1971 and if you want to know more about me and my life, please visit my personal website: www.michelminnebreuker.nl